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Friday, December 28, 2018

OPINION: We Should Be Using the Dinosaur Time Rovers to Try and Stop Hitler


ANIMAL KINGDOM, WALT DISNEY WORLD - One of my favorite parks at Walt Disney World is Disney’s Animal Kingdom. It may be my #2 WDW park. And no trip to DAK is complete without a ride on Dinosaur.

But there’s one thing that has always rubbed me the wrong way about the ride: why aren’t we using this time machine to try to prevent Adolf Hitler’s rise to power? We have this time machine and 12 people. Studying an iguanodon is not the best use of this technology.

I mean, we have all the time in the world and it’s being completely wasted. Think of the potential! For starters, we could have traveled to any time that iguanodons were around. Why go to right before a meteor hit? Did they only exist for those 5 minutes? It would actually be safer and more productive to travel to 1933 Germany and run Hitler over with this bouncing Jeep.

I believe if you have the chance to do a good deed, it’s your responsibility to do so. The Time Rover gives us the chance to do the most good possible. All riders on Dinosaur are complicit in the atrocities committed by Hitler and everyone who followed his orders. We have that weight to bear.

Imagine all the lives that could be saved. Think about the opportunity we have here. But by all means, let’s risk our lives to pick up a lizard.


Joe Scoop

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