JURASSIC PARK, ISLANDS OF ADVENTURE - The unthinkable has happened once again!
Riders on the Jurassic Park River Adventure were recently thrown off-course when a rogue Parasaurolophus bumped the raft boat into the ride’s Restricted Area.
This area of the attraction is meant to be strictly off-limits to park guests, as it is where the park’s carnivorous and dangerous animals are allowed to roam freely among the power generators and industrial equipment the park runs on.
Gene Matheson, a Cleveland man visiting with his family, recounts his experience on the attraction. “I just wanted my kids to see these amazing creatures! Everything was going great until we passed by that duck-looking dinosaur. I don’t know why that gate was was open in the first place!”
A quick survey of families leaving the boat tour showed that this problem is a persistent one.
“It’s that damn dinosaur in the water! He’s trying to kill all of us!”
Jurassic Park’s dinosaur experts refuse to put the blame on the Parasaurolophus, while the ride’s operational team refuses to lock the gate into the restricted area.
On the matter of the animal in question, head Dinozoologist Neil Samm commented, “Our animals are free to live as they would have in the wild. This species is a peaceful one. She is unlikely to have ill will towards humans.”
On the matter of the open gate, Jurassic Park financial chief Josh Gibbers commented, “Locks are expensive. You think we’re made of money?”
Guests are circulating a petition to have Universal put the animal down, or at least invest in a MasterLock for the gate.
Joe Scoop
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