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Wednesday, April 10, 2019

Will Helpya Elected City Council Chairman of Main Street, USA, Narrowly Defeats Opponent Moe Rullycorrupt




MAGIC KINGDOM - After a long and exhaustive campaign season, the citizens of Main Street, USA have finally elected their new City Council Chairman, Will Helpya. Helpya secured his upset victory over opponent, Moe Rullycorrupt. The result is being called a “close one” by those involved in the election process. 

Main Street’s Supervisor of Elections, Count DeVotes, remarked that he’s never seen such a close race. “I literally had to quintuple-check the results. It was that close.” Polling in advance of the election predicted that Rullycorrupt would come out victorious. However, exit polls showed that voters changed their minds while in the voting booth.

“I went in fully intending to vote for Moe,” said E. Zillymislead, a voter who admits he has trouble making up his mind in elections. “I really liked everything he had to say. It sounded so good! But after thinking about it, I decided I don’t really trust him. His plans sounded really unrealistic and kind of racist.”

“But what really did it was his top hat, curly mustache, and the way he’s always tapping the tips of his fingers together while muttering ‘Excellent. Everything is going according to plan.’”

Helpya has already begun his term as Chairman and has made clear his intentions to mend tensions between Main Street and the pirates, ghosts and robots in neighboring areas of the kingdom. Good luck, Will!


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