UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FLORIDA - The holiday season is undoubtedly the busiest time at Orlando theme parks. Unfortunately this information was unbeknownst to first time attendees and thrill ride fans, the Parker family from St. Paul, Minnesota. "I had no idea that this ride would destroy our familiar bonds entirely" states Bob Parker, patriarch of the once prosperous brood. Bob is a die-hard fan of the long-running franchise. Naturally when he found out that a ride based on the movies was going to be available to his family on their vacation, he didn't flinch at the opportunity to take part.
"In all honesty, the rest of my family hates those movies. But I had to see it. I've always wanted to live the fast-ness and furious-ness of those adventures. I thought for sure this would be the opportunity I had been waiting for." After waiting through a grueling 2 hours of techno and dry quips from Ludacris only to experience a ride that is neither fast, nor furious, it was simply to much for the Parkers to bear.
"I lost everything" Bob dolefully proclaims. "My wife left me. She took our 12 year old son. Well, he chose to live with his mother, he won't speak to me. Every time I see him he just dabs, flips me off and then does some fortnite dance away from my direction. My daughter moved to Oregon with a guy she matched with on Tinder 3 days ago. She said anything to never see me again. It's been rough. I know it wasn't great, but I didn't think it was that bad. But I didn't think it would cause all this."
The Fast and Furious supercharged ride has had "Mixed Reviews" since it's opening in April of 2018. Some have had pleasant experiences (mostly just one guy on twitter) but most have had experiences similar to Bob's. When asked if he had a chance to do it again, if he'd still take the ride.
"In a heartbeat"
Will Billiams
No comments:
Post a Comment