The Child Soldiers of the Resistance: An Exposé

BLACK SPIRE OUTPOST, BATUU - At Real Park News, we try to stay unbiased on heated issues. We typically stay out of political news altogether. However, recent investigations by our team have revealed some shocking information that we feel it is our moral obligation to bring to light.

As you may know, the First Order destroyed the New Republic’s capitol and senate homes a few cycles ago. The Resistance, which was already waging a war against the FO, has since intensified its efforts and, it would seem, has depleted its troops and resources in the process. In a show of true desperation, they have begun recruiting heavily, and they will take anyone.

And we mean ANYONE.

RPN sent me (Joe Scoop) and my partner Will Billiams undercover to see just how desperate the Resistance is and find our what it would take to be turned away. Believe me when I tell you that every single person who enlisted was accepted to the cause and sent to the secret Resistance base. I will maintain the secrecy of the location, but it was being shared freely with no screening process or cautionary discretion whatsoever.

Billiams and I set out to test the extremes of who they would recruit. We listed bad eyesight, shin splints, fear of flying, anxiety and sympathy for the First Order as potential disqualifying conditions. We were welcomed in without hesitation, reassured that they would find something for us to do.

Dear readers, I wish I could tell you this the worst of what we witnessed. That would be a lie, for what I am about to reveal to you is truly deplorable.

The Resistance is enlisting children. Not teenagers. Not adolescents. Younglings. Small children, some of them terminally ill. These children have no fighting or spying experience. They are certainly too young to understand the complexities and nuances of the situation for which they are volunteering. It is the opinion of this journalist that the Resistance should not be enlisting any recruits below the age of 18. It is irresponsible and immoral.

I do not support the First Order. During our trip we were captured and processed for interrogation by the FO and rescued by the Resistance. I did not see a single child within the FO’s ranks. I wish I could say the same for the Resistance.

We will be watching the Resistance’s movements closely from here on out.


Joe Scoop