RPN Interview On GGH Podcast

Thursday, August 1, 2019

Universal Announces Amazing New Thing for Dumb People to Be Mad At



ORLANDO, FL - Representatives from Universal Parks and Resorts announced this morning that a bunch of freaking idiots will be mad at them on the internet for doing anything at all. The announcement of Universal’s Epic Universe did not come as a surprise, although that does not make it any less exciting. Or, if you’re a big bozo, it does not make you any less angry for some reason.

While specific details on the attractions and areas within the new park were not shared, it is safe to say that they will be highly detailed and immersive. After all, this will be the first entirely new major theme park in Central Florida in over two decades. And if you’re just the worst, you think that isn’t a big deal. But it is. It’s huge. In fact, I’d even say it’s epic.

There is still so much more to learn about Universal’s next theme park! And the rabid, foaming masses on Twitter have so much more to complain about! After all, they found a way to minimize the achievement that is Hagrid’s Magical Creatures Motorbike Adventure, widely agreed to be the best attraction to open at Universal since 2010.

We here at Real Park News are looking forward to the future of this project, and seeing the hoops some dummies will have to jump through to be mad at it!


Joe Scoop

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