RPN Interview On GGH Podcast

Sunday, February 3, 2019

Naked, Glitter-Farting Troll Goes Viral During Universal’s Christian Music Festival


UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FLORIDA - One of Universal Orlando’s many annual events is the Christian music festival Rock the Universe. This event has always been the red-headed step child of Universal’s Marquee events, falling below highly popular festivals of sin such as Halloween Horror Nights and Mardi Gras. This year, however, RTU was infiltrated by sin during its actual run.



The culprit was Guy Diamond, a character from the hit DreamWorks animated film Trolls. Guy Diamond is naked, covered in glitter, and expels glittery flatulence from his bare buttocks. Not featured in his theme park appearance is the fact that his voice is always autotuned. This monstrosity may as well have been designed by Lucifer himself.



Rock the Universe is no stranger to being overshadowed by blatant disregard for the Lord, having previously been held on the weekend before the start of Halloween Horror Nights. This year, it was held on the weekend before the start of Mardi Gras, which is less highly anticipated. The sudden popularity of Guy Diamond can only be seen as an attack on RTU by Satan.



May the Lord have mercy on all those who celebrate Guy Diamond on this holy weekend.





Joe Scoop

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